this is not the place, but somewhere is
Plum Village centres are pretty relaxed as zen monasteries go, in Bordeux you can ask to volunteer in order to stay longer, it would have to be by personal request if its your first time going ;; i love your loves list and it resonates with my exp! ive wondered on and off how to replicate these in a layperson context e.g. via living in a mindful group house
That first sentence is golden.
Runner-up: "Last I checked, shit ladling is not available on the Waking Up app."
Now that you're back in a non training environment, I feel I can say something. First, did you connect with the teacher there? If so, did you experience a great trust in him? Did being in his/her presence make your hair "stand on end" so to speak? No? Keep looking. Yes? Go back to Sogenji as soon as you are able. This time make arrangements for a longer stay..a minimum of a year. Don't worry about how intense it feels- the start is always hard, but it will get better. Don't push yourself too hard, practice at 80% capacity, but, don't slacken from that 80% absolutely no vacation days. And be prepared to go to 110% when the time comes. One continuous push. If you've found your destined teacher that is very great fortune indeed-. for all of us.